Lenten Devotion: Thursday, March 26
And he [Jesus] sternly ordered them [the disciples] not to tell anyone about them.
I’ve always struggled with Jesus’ request in Mark to keep his identity as the Messiah a secret. Why would he do that? Doesn’t he want everyone to know he is the Messiah and follow him? I had explicitly decided not to write on this passage because it was so difficult for me to understand.
Then a conversation with a friend about how I struggle to accept where I am in life, led me to meditate on this passage and see it in a different light. It wasn’t time for people outside Jesus’ close group to know who he was and his plans. It wasn’t time for the apostles to see the path ahead and it wasn’t time for Jesus to be more than a prophet to the world outside his inner circle. When God finally revealed to the world Jesus is the Messiah, it was dramatic and unmistakable.
I am in a period of my life where I feel very lost. I’m groping around in the dark to find my way, and the only path I see is one that I am finding hard to accept. I understand that being a Mom to a child who has challenges is an important job but it can be very lonely and unfulfilling too.
So, I’m holding on to this passage. Just like the apostles, I need to trust in God that when I am ready, he will open the door to the next season of my life. So, I’ll work on accepting where I am and wait for the door to open and it will open but not in my time, in God’s time.